L&C

“Beyond right and wrong, there is a field, I’ll meet you there.”

–Rumi

Active listening implies a control of attention. An intentional leaning forward movement to listen carefully to the other person.

What it discounts is where the listening comes from in the first place. 

Active listening isn’t an action, it’s an outcome of self-awareness and self-regulation.

A noticing who is doing the listening and swiping away all the accumulated filters through which listening occurs: 

• Beliefs – how you think about the world and reality.
• Subtext – how you think others think about the world and reality.
• Opinions – how you think based on your preferences.
• Experience – how you think based on your past experiences.
• Priming – how you think based on your recent consumption.
• Formulation – how you think about your response during conversation.

Noticing these (and many more) listening filters within yourself is the first step. A frustrating one realizing how many layers you’ve been listening through. 

Next is waving them away for the time being. These filters aren’t bad or wrong, they’re simply there and can sometimes be quite useful in conversation.

By putting them aside for the time being, the quality of your listening becomes clear, open, unfiltered.

You have more space to receive the other person and what results through this substractive process is pure, active listening.

Not a leaning forward, but a settling back.

Not an emphasis, more a welcome.

Not a force, rather an invitation.