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Practicing G.R.A.C.E

Kirsten Clacey Avatar

I was recently asked to help a group navigate a restructure (there’s been a few of these going around this year). The emotions and stakes were high.

While the temptation was to dive in, my work began with an inward connection, gathering my attention so that I could truly hear. It was just a breath, feeling my feet on the ground, and then a moment spent taking in all the faces on my screen.

From this quality of attention, I recalled my intention. I could feel the significance of this conversation for the group and the company, the fear and the potential.

I then moved through a flow of attuning to myself and the group. I heard what was said and felt what was not said, both in the group and as it registered in my body. And in each moment, I considered: what will serve? Does the group need silence to process, breakout rooms to connect, a deeper inquiry to consider?

I engaged in an active flow of meaning making with the group. And then I allowed for the next step to emerge as well as the conversation to end. A few days later, I allowed this conversation in myself to end too.

When I first came across the acronym GRACE (created by Roshi Joan Halifax for professionals who care for the dying), I was struck by it’s alignment to coaching, facilitation, and leadership. I’ve since come to see how it can be about living more broadly:

1. Gathering attention: focus, grounding, balance

2. Recalling intention: the resource of motivation

3. Attuning to self/other: affective resonance

4. Considering: what will serve

5. Engaging: ethical enactment, then ending

Practicing G.R.A.C.E.

It’s been a somewhat wild to start to the year. I’ve heard this sentiment echoed by many. Yet amidst it all, I’ve been surprised (and then surprised that I’m surprised) by how the very work that brings me into contact with all the chaos outside and inside, is also what brings me peace.

And perhaps it’s because of grace: our ability to mindfully and skilfully enter, move with, and then leave a space.

Responses

  1. Mark_Kilby

    Kirsten – that is a wonderful summary of the facilitator’s mindset. Where does the G.R.A.C.E. acronym come from? I’ve not heard it before.

    Reply
    1. Kirsten Clacey

      I’m glad it resonated with you Mark! Roshi Joan Halifax created the acronym as a resilience framework for professionals who care for the dying. Apologies for not making the attribution clearer, it’s under the quote and I’ve now added the above context too.

      I think you’ll really resonate with her work. A snippet from the resource I cited:
      —-
      Compassion can change your life. Just ask Dr. Gary Pasternak:

      “I’m up late admitting patients to the inpatient hospice unit. Just when I think I’m too old for these late nights without sleep, a person in all their rawness, vulnerability, and pain lays before me. As my hands explore the deep wounds in her chest and my ears open to her words, my heart cracks open once again…. This night, a sweet 36-year-old woman with her wildly catastrophic breast cancer speaks of her acceptance and her hope for her children, and she speaks with such authenticity and authority. Her acceptance comes to me as the deepest humility a person can experience. Then again, once again, I remember why I stay up these late nights and put myself in the company of the dying.”

      Compassion may be defined as the capacity to be attentive to the experience of others, to wish the best for others, and to sense what will truly serve others.

      Ironically, in a time when we hear the phrase “compassion fatigue” with increasing frequency, compassion as we are defining does not lead to fatigue. In fact, it can actually become a wellspring of resilience as we allow our natural impulse to care for another to become a source of nourishment rather than depletion.

      Reply
      1. Mark_Kilby

        Thanks for sharing this Kirsten. Then I change my comment. It’s a wonderful example of a humane mindset.

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