Who you are is what you see

Akshay Kapur Avatar

It’s easy to miss that the way you see is what you see. Your upbringing and experiences shape the reality in front of you, resulting in a world of many realities that are continuously changing.

It’s not possible to wrap your head around this, and it can even be debilitating to try to, because you realize who you are is what you see. And what you see in front of you takes the shape of your consciousness at that time. That’s scary and unsettling.

And it’s also humbling. If my seeing is defining the reality in front of me, and who others are is defining the reality in front of them, then what is reality?

Rather than navel-gazing philosophically, the result is truly and genuinely being curious. Being open and wondering. It’s a “hmmm” response.

  • Why am I seeing this the way I am?
  • How am I limiting it?
  • What preconceptions or assumptions are shaping what I see?
  • How else could I see it?

And through this exploration, reality literally changes for you. The effect of assessing your reality in turn affects who you are.

Reflecting on reality then is the same as self-reflection.

“There is nothing in this knowing, other than this knowing, with which this knowing could be limited.”

Rupert Spira

Now the boundaries around ourselves and how we see the world becomes less opaque to us, more visible and porous.

Applying this locally – to ourselves first – allows the experience of de-conditioning, un-bounding, subtracting.

Then we can take it out on the road and the boundaries of others become more visible and less opaque.

It’s not a judgment of them, because we have deep empathy of having those boundaries ourselves.

Rather we remain curious, open, and exploring. With others. In conversation.

We learn more about their upbringing and experiences, genuinely wondering how they came to see the world the way it is. Now we’re talking! And listening! And sharing! And caring!

The other person feels your genuineness and sincerity. They respond to your unbounded way of being and seeing, because no longer is it two spheres colliding but two people within one sphere.

That’s love.


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