Whatever we give space to can move

Kirsten Clacey Avatar

Until we give something space, it cannot move. Space to be seen, to be accepted, to tell us what it was trying to tell us all along. To become a part of us.

Sometimes we hear echoes of the things we’ve denied space.

Maybe it’s how you feel when someone talks over others. Is it that I’m irritated by their dominance or that I want to feel heard? Perhaps it’s how you feel when someone’s overconfident. Is it that I don’t like their confidence or that I’m afraid of making mistakes?

In rejecting these parts of ourselves, slowly we lose sight of them. Until one day, all we have access to is their echo in the world around us.

We learn that whatever we give space to can move.

Frank Ostaseski

And the same is true of our relationships, communities, and organisations.

Together we make silent agreements about what’s ok and not ok. Who we are allowed to be and who we aren’t. And in this process, many voices and needs are silenced.

We may find it irritating how one team is always in the spotlight. Could it be that our team wants to be recognised too?

Perhaps we’re angry about a reorganisation that’s happening in our division. Is it the change alone that’s frustrating, or that we’re feeling uncertain and a little afraid?

What will you love today?

What if we could expand to be large enough to embrace it all? What if we could make space to hear the difficult voices? The parts of ourselves, our teams, our organisations that we’re maybe a little scared of. What if it was ok to want to be liked, to want to be heard, to make mistakes?

And as you give space to that thing, you may find that instead of wanting to move past it, it becomes a part of you, and a part of us.

A part of a complex, beautiful, messy, whole.

Welcome everything, push away nothing cannot be done solely as an act of will.

To welcome everything is an act of love.

Frank Ostaseski


  1. Mili

    Yes! There is such magic behind letting those parts of ourselves that we want to reject have as you say, space. Others may never do this for us, but we owe it to ourselves to accept ourselves fully. The benefits most often take time, but when we realize them, there is such sweet relief in those sighs!

  2. Mark_Kilby

    Love this phrase: “We learn that whatever we give space to can move.”

  3. From holding space to being held by it – L&C

    […] There is nothing left. No-thing. Just open space welcoming everything. […]

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